Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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