great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I party with great urgency now.
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