We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
