Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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