I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
