wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
