Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
