Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
