She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
