well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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