I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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