I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
