she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
