Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Do vagina's smell?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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