And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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