did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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