She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
