I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
