i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
