Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
