we're blogging at a bar
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i love accidental penises.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
