Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
