At least make sure they are 18
Why
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
