Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
