we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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