I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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