Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
