haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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