i just had sex bonerless
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
