It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
