i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
