Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
