i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
