Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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