Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
