I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
