I'm so fucking centered right now
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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