what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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