I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
