Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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