It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize