i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
