remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I lost the right to judge tonight
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
