Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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