I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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