she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
