is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize