Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
only you would photoshop your dick
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
