im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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