There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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