I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
